New-to-Me Small Crawl January 2014

Hey Gang, long time no talk.  Mark here.

With the new year upon us, it seemed mandatory to tackle some new bars.  Besides, Melissa had fallen way behind with posts so it was a good excuse to bike into town for some drinks.

Our first stop was Seadog Tavern. It's a long, slender strip of a bar that rose from the old back bar of Cowboy Bill's.  It's just a half block west of Duval on Angela Street. We were pretty early so we were also the first customers of the day. 

They have a nice variety of beers I hadn't tried and Deena, the bartender, let us sample them.  I chose a Funky Buddha (how could you resist the name) from a brewery named Floridian and Melissa ordered a UFO.  They also have daily food specials so I went with the Beer and Hot Dog for $5.  Melissa couldn't pass up the tacos.  I don't have a full list of their food specials but I remember that one was $.39 wings all day. I think that was on Thursdays. Both Melissa and I were real pleased and we will definitely stop back. 

Our next stop was just a half block away and back on Duval Street - Mangoes.

It was a very cool day so the heaters over their bar were really welcome. The bartender that day was Dan and he claimed his Mojito was the best in the island.

That's a gutsy claim to make to me.  I'm really picky about Mojitos but I like a guy with confidence in his craft. I gave him a shot. His mix was spot-on but I like mine with a subtler lime flavor. Dan's was great but he sits at number two on my list. Bahama Bob still makes the best on on the island. Melissa ordered their version of a Southernmost Punch, which is a rum punch with mango instead of orange juice. She loved it and followed it up with something called, Southernmost Punch a la Dan. Whatever was in his secret mix wasn't as sweet as the first, so about halfway through, I took over and finished for her. Big props to Dan.  I love a bartender who treats his job as a profession.

Now, for those of you tempted to cry "foul" and disqualify Melissa from the crawl for failing to finish her drinks, I have carefully examined all aspects of Rule 3 and she is OK.  I tried hard but I really couldn't find any verbiage relating to finishing your drinks.  You just need to order the drinks.  That's a clear oversight that will certainly be addressed at the next meeting of the Rules Committee.

Next up was Margaritaville. As I have said before, we generally sidestep the touristy places but it was high time to check out Jimmy Buffet's place in the center of Duval.  Melissa was hungry and happily ordered their corn and crab chowder. It was a shallow bowl of creamy satisfying soup with corn and chunks of crab served with oyster crackers for $6.99.   As usual, we had a nice chat with the couples seated beside us. 

For drinks, we both ordered a 5 o'clock Somewhere.  It's the Maragaritaville version of a Hurricane, made with authentic silver rum, margaraita paradise passion fruit, tequila, bacardi 151 rum, sour mix, orange and pineapple juice and a splash of grenadine on the rocks for $8.75.  The food and drinks were both very good and the ambiance was relaxing. A huge video screen on the backwall plays continous videos of Buffet and friends helping to cement the beach paradise flavor. I can see how it will appeal to vacationers. The big down side, even for Duval Street, their prices were a bit high. If you're a Buffet fan, that's easier to overlook. 

Our last stop was at a joint named 2 Cents.  Like Seadog, it's tucked about 1/2 block west of Duval, on Applerouth Lane and conveniently located beside Leather Master - a bondage boutique. (This IS Key West.)  :)  They have a small window display for those too timid to go inside. 

Melissa grabbed a table while I headed straight to the bar to order drinks. Here is a quick pic with some new friend I made while I waited for the bartender to mix our drinks.

2 cents has a couple interesting gimmicks for your Happy Hour.  First, they put cups of bacon out for their patrons and, second, you can roll the dice to determine the price of your drinks.   I gave it a shot and rolled a 2.  My drinks were $2 each. If I had rolled a 4, 5 or 6, they would have been full price.  A 3 gets you half price and a 1 gets you a drink for a buck.  I ordered Mojito for Melissa and I for the life of me, can't remember what I ordered.  It doesn't matter, because both drinks stunk. Melissa didn't even finish hers. I rolled the dice and gave the bartender another shot, having the same as my new friends (pictured above) Again, I forget what I ordered but like before, it doesn't matter. It was another dud. We won't be back. The bartender was cute but not nearly cute enough to cover up for those drinks.  Miss Florida would have barely been enough to make up for those.

Melissa claims she has 4 or 5 posts in various stages of writing. Hopefully, she has something up in the next couple of weeks. Until then...Chao

Closing out 2013

After a lovely holiday, with laziness as the activity of choice, I am energized and ready to jump into a new year.  I thought I'd start out by catching up on all the little things that weren't big enough for their own posts.

Most romantic spot in Key West? The buoy. We stopped to take photos with visiting family. When the guy in front of us asked Mark to take a picture, I had a feeling it was more than just a photo op. I managed to dig out my phone but didn't have time to set it to video. She said yes.





Need personal introspection while you watch the big orange ball plunge into the sea? Head south down Duval Street. There are plenty of bike racks, if you're riding, and parking on the south end is much easier than you'd think. You'll find a blue pay station in the middle of each block. They take debit/credit cards or cash, though no change is given.




Watch the sunset from the pier at Southernmost Beach cafe, then grab a late dinner or specialty drink in the bar. You can even wiggle your toes on the small sandy beach. (that's Mark relaxing near the middle of the pic)




Down here, a tree isn't always a tree. For Christmas, a nautical theme lent a hand with lobster traps.

Key Lime Pie is an island staple. Just like sunset cruises and rum punch at Sloppy Joe's. And just as a rum punch should have equal balance of rums and juices, Key Lime Pie should be equally tart and sweet. A first bite should lead to a cleaned plate. Best on the island? There's two. For creamy, light and smooth, Caroline's Cafe.  For rich and custardy, the Half Shell Raw Bar.


Last bit - if you come down to visit please remember, this ain't Disneyland. The locals live and work here. Look both ways before you cross the street and be mindful of the red lights. If you rent a bike or scooter, watch for traffic. I can't count how many times someone on a scooter merged in front of my 300 horsepower Mustang without so much as a glance over their shoulder.  Lucky for them, the average speed limit on the island is 30.  Be careful, be aware, have a great 2014.

Two great Sportsbars

Football is finally back and I can't stress how excited I am. When we lived in the real world, we'd spend our Sundays at Hooters, parked at a table that offered us a view of as many tvs as possible.
There's nothing like cheering on your team and seeing the regulars each week. (Hey to Kurt) Mark's a die hard Packers fan and I came back to the fold (as a 17 year fan) after I'd had a couple of years to bitch about the whole Favre fiasco.

If you find yourself in town on gameday, there are two places I'd recommend. If you have a crowd with you, check out Jack Flats on Duval. They have a couple dozen tv's and lots of extra large tables that would accommodate parties of 6 or more. Their grouper sandwich is messy but really good.

an old photo of me from last season. 

If you're alone, or your group can hustle, hurry over to JDL's at 920 Caroline Street, there's street parking nearby. (Their meatloaf is to die for) The place is small and gets packed quickly but the manager fills every empty seat. They're pretty good about trying to seat like minded fans together so go with the flow and you'll make some new friends.

Less than 24 hours to kickoff. Go Pack! On Sunday :)

New-to-Me Small Crawl: Round 1

Guess who? Mark, of course. Pretty soon, I'm gonna demand co-author credit for this blog.  I bet I could even swap out Melissa's profile and picture and she wouldn't even notice.

We've been down here over a year now and, although we arrived with heartfelt intentions to experience a wide variety of the restaurants and bars, we quickly found places we liked and settled into a routine. That's sooo wrong.  We had taken a solemn oath to maintain a wide knowledge base of the Duval Street area for our future guests. We devised an easy fix; the New-to-Me Bar Crawl. The primary rule is simple, we can't go to any bar unless one or more of the participants have never had a drink there.

When we jumped on the bikes and headed to town, yesterday, we intended a full-fledged NTM Bar Crawl.  Unfortunately, we got a bit of a late start and then, later, had a hang fire on a food order. Both miscues cost us precious Happy Hour time and, in the end, we were only credited with a small crawl.

Under the Key West By-Laws, Rule 3, sec 5,

"No adventure shall be deemed a Bar Crawl unless participants order drinks in, at least, 5 establishments.  In the event that participants experience between 2 and 4 establishments, said adventure shall be deemed a "Small Crawl."

Our first stop was Grunts. It's a small place on the north side of Caroline St about a half block west of Duval.  It's a marvelous spot. Just around the corner from the livelier times of Duval St, it gives you all of the comfort of a neighborhood bar.

 They only offer beer and wine but that's just fine for a neighborhood bar.  The servers and bar staff are sociable, pleasant and professional.  Debbie's also pretty darn cute, isn't she?

During Happy Hour, draft beers are $2.75 and domestic bottles are $3.

After 5:30, you can order food and that seemed like a smart idea.  The menu is limited but we ordered the fish tacos. Somewhere along the line, our order got lost but I prefer not to blame Debbie. I'm sure it wasn't her fault. We probably lost about 30 precious  minutes of Happy Hour. That meant one less stop. When the tacos arrived,  though, I loved them.

When you stop by Grunts, you can have a seat inside, at the bar, or relax at a wrought iron table in the courtyard.  Either option is well worth your time.

Next up, we stopped by the Smallest Bar. Its the ultimate hole-in-the-wall.  You could probably fit about 4 people inside. (Challenge accepted?)

John, the bartender was a really engaging guy.  That big ole smile is real. He's as friendly as a puppy. We decided to test him with a couple drinks and he nailed the mix.

Like us, John's only been down here about a year and a half. I could have hung out and BS'd with him for hours.  We'll definitely stop back to see him.

  Our final stop for the night was the Hog's Breath Saloon. It may be a bit surprising that we hadn't been there yet, but, as a rule, we tend to avoid the more commercialized places.  It was a disappointment. The service was perfunctory and the place just didn't feel warm at all.  Unless we are with someone else who wants to stop there, I doubt we'll be back. There are too many other places that feel more welcoming.

Stay tuned for the next installment of the New-to-Me Bar Crawl.  We haven't go it scheduled yet but I've got a couple weeks off so it could be soon.

Happy Hour Series - Schooner Wharf

Anyone who's ever perched on a bar stool between 4 and 6:30 pm knows it's not just the drink that makes the hour happy. The bartender, the band, the view, and the company absolutely make or break a spot.

In the interest of science, and because we have nothing better to do with our afternoons, we've decided to hit every bar in Key West looking for that sweet mix that makes the perfect happy hour.

Okay, we've just discovered that over 360 places in Key West have liquor licenses so we're narrowing down our parameters to bars we find while wandering around the island.

Schooner Wharf kicks off the series with the earliest happy hour on the island - 7 am to Noon.  You read that right. 7 am.

Since they also serve a great breakfast, Mango Mimosas's are the perfect complement to any item on the menu.

Trust me, there's no better breakfast than one you wash down with a Mango Mimosa.







The music starts at 12 on most days and 6 days a week you'll hear Michael McCloud kick it off. While his dog, Cindy, hangs by his side, Michael will treat you to some outstanding folk tunes. His original music is currently played on five XM/Sirius channels. Be sure to listen for his song about an ex-waitress that he didn't like. It's hysterical. Also, be sure to give Cindy a scritch. She's a sweetie. In the evening, you may hear the Doerfels, a unique and talented family group that is great fun. Look for their guitars made out of old hockey sticks.

Look for us most weekdays around 9am.

 You can check out the place on their webcam


When you leave, be sure to head out along the waterfront. You are sure to see some huge Tarpon lolling around just below the surface or you might even be treated to a Manatee. Manatees are cool.